I knew it, you knew it, here is the data

We all know these men. Middle-aged, salt-and-pepper hair, not the fittest anymore and making groaning noises as they get out of their expensive sports car. I always suspected that these sports cars are compensating for a ‘lack of manhood’.

Well, a team of researchers from University College London decided to put that suspicion to the test. And no, they did not come with a ruler and asked participants to drop their pants. Instead, they asked the participants how big their penis is and then randomly told them that it was bigger than average or smaller than average. And since you are asking, medical studies showed that the average size of an erect penis is 13-14cm (5.1-5.5 inches), but probably at the lower end of that range since there is likely a selection bias among men who are willing to participate in studies measuring the size of their penis.

In any case, half the men in the experiment were told the average size of an erect penis is 12cm (4.7 inches) which obviously would raise their self-esteem since they thought that they had a larger than average member. The other half of the men were told the average size of an erect penis was 18cm (7 inches), thus making them feel inferior.

Once participants were equipped with that knowledge, the researchers asked them to rate different products along a sliding scale to state how much they would like to have that product. The products ranged from candy to luxury goods including expensive sports cars.

The chart below shows the results for the sports cars. Men who were told that their penis is smaller than average were significantly more likely to say they want to have an expensive sports car than men who were told their penis was larger than average. Interestingly, the difference was insignificant for young men under the age of twenty-nine and grew larger the older the respondents got. So, here you have it. The next time you see a middle-aged man climb out of a sports car, you may want to send an email to the address made famous by Greta Thunberg in her Twitter spat with Andrew Tate: smallpenisenergy@getalife.com

Desire to own a sports car and perceived penis size

Source: Richardson et al. (2023)